I feel......

Sometimes at the goddess community of Siren Island :

http://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/

the discussion will turn to the words I feel. Some of the ladies don't feel authentic using the words I feel to express theirselve too often. I, myself am not yet able to use the words I feel often. Hell sometimes I don't even know what I do feel. Sometimes I wonder does this even work but I KNOW it does, it's just a question of will I be able to incorperate it into my being?

Right now I feel a little blah. I wonder if I'll ever have the self confidence I want. Will I ever feel comfortable in my own skin the majority of the time? Will I ever feel I'm important to anyone? I am VERY thankful for the people and things I have in my life. Is it wrong to want more? Is it wrong to want to win $50,000 on scratch off tickets or at least big? Is it wrong to like so many things but not know what I'm passionate about? Is it wrong to want to hear feedback and have support from others?

Damn I'm in a frigging funk at the moment. That doesn't feel good. I can accept I'm here at the moment but it DOES NOT feel good. I want to feel good. I want to have fun. I want to have self confidence the majority of the time. I want to be able to say what I feel in a calm, no nonsense manner. I want to be a people magnetic. I want people to want to be around be, too feel good in my company.

I could of wrote all this at the island but sometimes I feel like I get lost in the shuffle there so I'll talk to myself(and whoever might read this) here tonight.